transport

the problem with transport.

Okay. You see. The problem with transport.
I live in the outskirts of town. Someplace so ulu that nobody else who goes to the same school as me lives nearby. Hmph.

Anyway. I studied in SJKC Foon Yew 2 when in primary.
And if you don't count SMK Skudai, you can see that I pretty much have to travel a good half and hour to and fro each day since primary just to get to school.
I don't mind the journey much, but it has been hard on my poor mother. Since the area I live in is SO ulu that no bus ever goes there. Ish.

And that will be the case of next week, and the week after next too. Why can't school be just around the corner, so I can nip there and back whenever I feel like it.

Ah crap crap crap.

foosh

FOOSH!
Just a quick one, cos I ade banyak barang nak buat.
Kay, so my holidays are like jam packed.
But I don't feel tired.
I feel very energised just about now and that's why my typing feels so rushed.
Kay anyway nothing much to blog about.

Looi don't go Bali la or else how am I going to go school?

hello sg

Hello SG
It was frickin' 730 in the morning. I thought today would be the only day I'd get to sleep in after two days of getting up at 630 but NO, I was wrong, we had to get up early to go to Singapore.
I dressed without much enthusiasm, putting on the first things I could find, my grey skinnies and a very unflattering shirt which made my body figure look horribly cylindrical. Not that I cared. I didn't, so there.
It was the same old, same old. My brothers were laughing and squealing and shouting in the car. Noises that, you should think I have gotten immune to by now, but they still continue to annoy me. Of course, it would also be very weird without those noises in the background, so I'll learn to bear with it, I guess.
We spent the better half of the day in "Trains and Toys" with Clarence bawling on and on about being very hungry (I BET he did that just so my father would hurry up and get out of there so Clarence could go to the Takashimaya's toy department) and the Immigration Centre, where all of us went to apply for Permanent Residence. Don't ask me why, I don't know why, I'm just as flummoxed as you, don't give me that look.
Then lunch. Like I said, same old same old. Blah blah blah yadda yadda. Then, my favourite shop(s) in all of Singapore.
Artfriend. That place is a art a & craft lover's heaven. It has everything- I often rambang mata until I don't know what to buy and come home empty handed. 12 different graded pencils in a tin for sketching, wooden plaques, foam, felt, paints, stencils, ginormous 15cm in diameter ink pads, iron on patches, all sorts of paper, empty boxes to decorate to your liking, you name it, they've got it. Yes, even polystyrene packing peanuts (as in Bolt. Yea.). Bought 4 heart shaped balloons (if you have to ask why, which will mean you don't know, then save your breath. I'm not going to tell you either). And rainbow coloured paper! Just looking for something to buy, you know, so I won't go back home feeling unsatisfied. They cost a bomb, though. Just for 10 A4 sized pieces of unusually colored peper. I kid you not. 10 frickin' pieces. Then, as Clarence was working up a fever, we left for home.

Haven't improved very much from yesterday's mood. I am in doubt. Serious doubt. And it may ruin me forever.

a new day

A new day.
I won't give you up, no matter what.
I just wish you'd hang on too.

Hmph

Hmph.
I feel inferior. Don't want talk to me, fine la. Like I give a damn like that.

I built a wall around me so that nobody can break through it. What you see is superficial. It's just the top layer, the icing off the cake, the wrapping paper of a parcel. I'm not what you see. I'm not always that happy-go-lucky. I have my doubts and insecurities too. I'm also not emotionless. I'm just good at hiding my feelings, or maybe I'm just not that good at expressing them. It doesn't mean that I don't care. It doesn't mean that I won't be affected when you do something to hurt me. It doesn't mean that you can do anything because you think that I won't mind.

I hope you see this. I really really hope you do.

foosh

Foosh.

Been trying to make it a point to update my blog frequently, since it's the holidays and all. Anyway I'm pretty sure no one reads it, but I have no energy to do anything else, so here I am.

There is, however, not much to update, though. Just the same old same old. Went to the bookfair and bought a few books, got fed up because the newest Galaxie has not arrived in Pelangi's Popular yet (or maybe the staff hid it away when they saw me walking through the doors just to spite me), talking nonstop on the phone, Facebooking, planning stuff, yadda yadda yadda.

Actually, I do have a lot to do, only I think I deserve a little break, don't you think? I am, otherwise, brain-dead. I am staring at the computer screen and my eyes glaze over as I am reading this irrelevant crap-talk. There is also the distant throbbing pain of my toe (I deserve it, I think, for squeezing my feet into shoes two sizes too small) which is numbed by the inability of my brain to register anything other than watching Glee.

And although I don't make any sense, and although I know that I should probably talk about more insightful things like the end of the world or something, I just don't feel up to it. Boring boring boring blah blah blah -someone send me to the hospital, I think I'm going crazy- wahahahahaha.

Have you ever had the stress of being expected to be the optimistic, cheerful, gila crazy one all the time? And who's gonna cheer you up when you're down? Have you ever been the one who's always expected to stay strong and never ever cry? So who's gonna comfort you when you start crying?

star

It's nice to know that, amidst all the sadness and despair in this world, there is a flicker of hope.
Sometimes, you may think: There is no point of going on. I want to give up. I don't want to do this any more. There's no point.
But some people are driven by hope. It's what keeps them going everyday. It's what motivates them to get out of bed. It's what they strive so hard for. A world without hope will be a world full of anguish and darkness.
They say you can give up everything, but if you give up hope, you're doomed. Truthfully doomed.
I too, live by hope. I hope and dream and hope and dream and hope some more and even though it seems impossible, I still hope.
But imagine to have your hopes brutally crushed.