Dream

I've just woke up from a horrible dream.

In my dream we were holidaying. Just Clarence and I. We were in an observation point of some sort located on higher ground, and that place overlooked a volcano which kept erupting in the distance. As it cast out volcanic substances from within a multitide of colours in the form of strips and bands emerged from the volcano too, and it formed the biggest, most vivid and most majestical rainbow I have ever seen in my life. The colours were also reflected on the river of water which was snaking lazily towards our dirrction. Coupled by the waning gentle light that is sunset, it was a kaleidoscope of colours. It was truly a sight to behold.

There was a professor with us which was our tour guide I guess for the day, and I kept trying to get his attention to look at the rainbow but it didn't seem like he was remotely bothered or interested. As the eruptions got more intense the bands of colour forming the rainbow got prettier too, and I was taking photographs with my phone.  Suddenly the tip of the Eiffel Tower (in Japan, I know) started collapsing, and there was no more rainbow in the sky. The volcano seemed dark and dangerous. The observation point began shaking too. We frantically grabbed our belongings and fled the scene by the professor's rescue crew helicopter.

That night, we were at our vacation accommodation.  It was a small fishing village by the water, and we were living in a wooden chalet interlinked with other chalets and thus a whole community of people. They were having a barbeque party. I was in my towel heading from the communal shower back into my room. On the way walked pass a big glassless window with a view of the sea. And the sea was behaving weirdly. The sea was calm with all the water slowly travelling towards the north east side of sea in eerie creeping waves, kind of like draining sink water with the sinkhole at the north east side but instead of draining down, the water was draining UP. It formed a wall of water. And then I realised... it was a tsunami. I tried screaming but I couldn't get the words out, I couldn't form those 3 syllables that shaped disaster. Thankfully someone else did. I fled in the direction of my chalet, grabbed Clarence, and in the frenzy of the situation struggled to find somewhere safe-ish to hide. I ran upstairs and then suddenly we were at home again. Instincts told me to find an under of a table (wrong instincts btw, that was for an earthquake) and so I pushed all the stuff under my mum's dressing table out and we hid there. And waited. And waited.

I woke up. They say dreams mean something. I haven't thought or talked about disasters or death yesterday so this shouldn't be some random brain overdrive on my part.

So the question remains. what does it mean?

Did you expect this? (YLDP pt 1)

To be honest, I didn't think I'd be updating my blog today too. So, first things first.

My name is Celine Choong and I will walk in the name of the Lord my God forever. From this day forth I will not be a slave to the devil. I will not let the devil stop me from doing the good works God has called me to do. My past sin has a hold on me no more, and it will not serve to guilt-trip me or make me feel ashamed of myself because Christ paid for it and I am free.

We burnt our sins. No you don't understand, we really did.

Anyway, after a super long hibernation for over a year, I am back. After the really long, traumatic and exhausting-to-the-point-of-crying-but-I-never-cry experience that is called SPM, I packed my stuff, went to Kampar for a mission trip that lasted five days, then back, to Port Dickson for Teenstreet for another five days, then back, to Bidor for YLDP for still another five days, then back. In the process of all that I've swallowed a chicken bone, lost my voice, gained it back and then lost it again, took lots of pictures, made lots of new friends, reconnected with old ones, ate good food, ate bad food, learnt a lot, and above all experienced God and His grace again and again and again. Although it was pretty tiring God kept sickness away from me and I was healthy enough to experience everything.

So today I'm here to blog about YLDP. Like I said before I didn't expect myself to be blogging today. But a random anon asked me to do this on ask.fm so that's part of the reason, the other part being because I really wanted to blog again just that I didn't want to use my current blog because I deemed it immature and maybe emberassing. But then I thought I didn't come to be the person I am today if it weren't for all my past experiences. I know its not obvious but if you think about it, every single thing that happened in your life plays a part in shaping you to be exactly who you are today. If just one insignificant thing that did happen didn't, you'd be different.  As I read through my old posts I was actually pretty impressed at the language I used last time. It's almost as if I've deteriorated. I was actually thinking , why don't I write like that anymore? Well, the obvious answer is because 1. I don't write anymore? hahaha and 2. Up until SPM I've only been reading The Curse for my language. So... nuh-uh. I'm sidetracking again. I meant to say that I was reading through my posts and was amazed by the language I used and even more suitably impressed by the way I was wired last time. The way I phrased my words, the things I talk about and the way I think about things. But if anybody had noticed I had to delete some of my previous posts. It's not because I want to appear perfect and forever happy-go-lucky but rather I don't want to be reminded of the sadness and the pain and the hurt anymore, I'm starting with a clean(ish) slate.

The long and ardous trip up to Bidor saw us late for YLDP (again) but it's okay, cuz they were only having icebreakers and stuff. We were camping at a NS Campsite btw and the road in was muddy and uneven. The bus rocked about and it was harder to stand on your feet than standing on an MRT during takeoff. We were greeted by warm hugs (Sherry!) and enthusiastic hellos from people we've met before. Actually I shouldn't use the word "we" because there were 32 of us and I can't say I speak for all of us. Heh.

Was supposed to lead worship that night with Rachel but... I lost my voice. So she did and I didn't. More on that later.

After the session by Pastor Jit Pang (again) in which he asked us to write down all our secret and public sins on a piece of pink paper, we broke up for buzz time into our devotional groups. I would post a picture of us but we didn't really get to take a group picture (sigh) on account of Radiance having to get ready for P&W on the last day. But it's okay. I guess. (no it's not) The people in our group were Elsie, Ashwini, Wei Tung, Stephanie and me with Radiance as our coach/metor/helper (again!) And throughout the 5 days I can say that I've really learnt a lot from the people in my devotional group. It's always nice knowing there are other people going through the same thing you have been going through and that you are not alone on this journey.

I was in Level 2 this year and I thought I was gonna be pretty lonely cuz well people like Ryan A and Ryan B and ZhiYang and Gaby couldn't make it this year and people like Rachel and Eunice and Guan were in Level 3. But it was okay, cus I made friends. And there were people I knew from last year too.

I do have a few pictures from my lunch/team building group though. This is thanks to a game specially designed to have us take pictures as a group. Meet the cool people from Group 12:

At first, I was quite hesitant about my group. Mostly because I didn't get to know them well on the first day, late remember. And also because I lost my voice and lack of vocal chords equate to almost zero communication. And can you imagine I'm the group leader hahahaha laugh die me. But through the games even on the first day I came to realise that this group is seriously the best group to be in ever. These people are super cooperative, speak up when they feel they can contribute, listen to instructions, and are team players all the way. They (we) care for and support each other and they (we) don't get impatient or upset due to mistakes or frustrations. They (we) are perfectly balanced and are able to work through any type of situation amiably. I'm sure everyone in our group will all grow up to be promising leaders in the future. I miss them already.

I won't elaborate much more about the sessions or the plenary. I came to YLDP worried and tired, mostly. And numb. I asked to hear God and on the first day, I did. Remember how I said I lost my voice and couldn't sing on the first day? 

I'll tell you about it tomorrow. It's getting late and my English tends to go haywire when it's late. :)