thank goodness for distractions.
distractions, i thank you i thank you i thank you thank you thankewwwwwwwwww.
please continue to distract me.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
aftermath
It sucks to be noboby, for all the right reasons.
on saturday i arrived at ballet school but i couldn't remember the door-opening combination number.
and then, i forgot it was mother's day until the actual day. i didn't even get my mum anything. i'm sorry.
and then, arriving at church i forgot it was my turn to do AV.
which just goes to show, i'm so damn preoccupied that i take no notice of my surroundings.
i'm a deluded moron. i can't change anything now. because it's over, and there's nothing i can do.
and then i wish i could turn back the clock again. i wish so bad. i cling on to those two days, remembering over and over again, picking on our every mistake, and if only we had done better, if only i had spotted those mistakes sooner, if only we had corrected them.
it haunts me at night.
we were nobody, we are nobody, and we never gonna be somebody. because it was our one and only chance, and we lost it.
on saturday i arrived at ballet school but i couldn't remember the door-opening combination number.
and then, i forgot it was mother's day until the actual day. i didn't even get my mum anything. i'm sorry.
and then, arriving at church i forgot it was my turn to do AV.
which just goes to show, i'm so damn preoccupied that i take no notice of my surroundings.
i'm a deluded moron. i can't change anything now. because it's over, and there's nothing i can do.
and then i wish i could turn back the clock again. i wish so bad. i cling on to those two days, remembering over and over again, picking on our every mistake, and if only we had done better, if only i had spotted those mistakes sooner, if only we had corrected them.
it haunts me at night.
we were nobody, we are nobody, and we never gonna be somebody. because it was our one and only chance, and we lost it.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
oneweekago
exactly one week and a few hours back.
we were sitting on plastic chairs in an air conditioned hall. hearts beating wildly, hands gripped tight, eyes closed, muscles tense.
that moment held so much hope then.
exactly one week and zero hours back.
staring out the window, wishing i was holding another cup.
it has been one week.
but that doesn't change anything.
we were sitting on plastic chairs in an air conditioned hall. hearts beating wildly, hands gripped tight, eyes closed, muscles tense.
that moment held so much hope then.
exactly one week and zero hours back.
staring out the window, wishing i was holding another cup.
it has been one week.
but that doesn't change anything.
Monday, May 2, 2011
the end
All the way back from Kelantan, holding a trophy I didn't want.
Sleeping and waking, waking and then sleeping.
They say, the higher you climb, the harder you fall. I guess its true.
I'm sorry, everyone. I've failed you, let you down.
I guess this is the end. No more staying back until 630. No more skipping class. No more sunny days in the volleyball court. No more reading first aid manual at night, no more writing essays.
I'd rather do that for another month.
So, back to the normal life. I'll be able to drink cold drinks again. To go back to class. To go for house practice. To go back home early. I'll have time to watch afternoon tv now. Heck, I'll have time to blog.
Sleeping and waking, waking and then sleeping.
They say, the higher you climb, the harder you fall. I guess its true.
I'm sorry, everyone. I've failed you, let you down.
I guess this is the end. No more staying back until 630. No more skipping class. No more sunny days in the volleyball court. No more reading first aid manual at night, no more writing essays.
I'd rather do that for another month.
So, back to the normal life. I'll be able to drink cold drinks again. To go back to class. To go for house practice. To go back home early. I'll have time to watch afternoon tv now. Heck, I'll have time to blog.
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