Even the stars refuse to shine

Today was a day where my suck-at-everythingness manifested itself very apparently. I couldn't write a French essay. I was so completely lost in chemistry. Couldn't do the quiz, couldn't do the practices. Can't do econs, can't do math, can't do anything and everything.

I have always wondered if there are people who are not good at anything, and I wonder if that category also applies to me. I am neither productive nor smart nor good at anything really. Mediocracy must define me.

Today is one of the days where I feel like curling up and dying. Nothing I do is right. Nothing I do is guilt-free, everything has an opportunity cost. There is nothing I feel like doing; all I want to do is to curl up and sleep an eternal sleep. 

I've always believed myself to be a person of high rebound. You can knock me down but I'd be sure to get back up and catch up, eventually. But even with my optimism and cannot-die attitude I cannot pull myself away from the feeling that I am stupid. And I am a good-at-nothing. Today this feeling overrides everything. Even this post that I'm writing now is an evidence of my primary-school-standard essay writing and my non-existent thought communication skills.

I feel trapped and lagging. But I will tough it out. I will struggle, I will fall, I will wallow, but I will get back up again. I'll need time. I will be back.